Comments:
1. Make the aims and objectives much clearly to the reader. Set out very clearly the research questions 1, 2, 3, 4 and use them as headings.
2. There are a lot of materials, but still difficult to follow the structure and identify the findings. For instance, you identify the gaps. What are they? Can you summarise in the conclusion? Then you then check if you can easily find the arguments in the main area.
3. Think about how this chapter links with the previous chapter and the overall thesis. You should mention it in the introduction.
4. You need to follow OSCOLA. I have already mentioned it.
5. add more informaton on what it means by ‘legitimate interest’ under GDPR and ‘public interest’ under GDPR. You should also look at court cases and see how they interpret these two notions.